Hi everyone.
For context, I’m a 25 y/o CEO & co-fo of a startup I’ve been building alongside my 2 technical co-fos. We’ve raised $300K+ total over the last 2 years and have been full-time since January 2022. In these 2 years I’ve taken a $35K annual salary.
We’ve recently come to the difficult decision to wind things down and have officially announced it to our network & stakeholders recently. Aside from running out of cash, we’re mentally and financially drained from the entire endeavor and are looking to move on. I’m having immense difficulties moving forward though.
Don’t get me wrong, running a startup has been incredible. We’ve seen and done things many don’t have the opportunity to do. But I can’t shake the feeling of deep regret and sadness that’s consumed me. I’ve become an intolerable and bitter person to everyone around me, limping around like a wounded animal.
The most saddening part has been my personal financials. In 2021 at age 22, I graduated college into an IT job that had me at $70K with incredible benefits and a great w/l balance. I got restless and suffered from “the grass is greener” with everyone telling me to quit my job after we received the accelerator offer to take things full-time. I wish I could go back and tell myself the grass truly isn’t greener. Since then, I’ve withdrawn the $5K in my 401K, liquidated $10K I had in market investments, and racked up $30K+ in CC debt so far in addition to $40K student loans and $20K car loan.
I have enough cash to take me until April of 2024, but after that I have no idea what I’ll do. I unfortunately don’t have a familial home to fallback on, so I’ll either have to continue going into debt to pay rent, couch surf, or rough it out in my car until I land a new job.
I can’t seem to get myself out of an emotional slump. All I can bring myself to do daily is play video games and eat junk food to try to suppress the pain. I’m struggling creating a resume as well since I haven’t gained any on-paper skills like certifications. I used to be technical (front-end & python) but since I haven’t programmed since 2021 I’ve lost all of my dev knowledge and replaced it with an assortment of other knowledge & skills. I guess my best shot is finding an entry project management role, but lacking proper Certs/accolades has made this difficult.
I’m sorry if this is just a long venting post, but I could really use some words of advice, kindness, and just a “you’ll be alright.” I know I’m young, and one day I’ll look back on this and say “I’m glad I tried.” But right now I’m struggling seeing the bigger picture. If you’ve gone through a similar experience, I’ve be grateful to hear your journey too.
Thanks everyone.
Edit: Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who commented or DM'd. I can't express how much I appreciate the kind words, tips, advice, and resources. It's going to take some time for me to grieve and process this whole thing, and all the support and thoughts are helping me tremendously. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, truly.
For context, I’m a 25 y/o CEO & co-fo of a startup I’ve been building alongside my 2 technical co-fos. We’ve raised $300K+ total over the last 2 years and have been full-time since January 2022. In these 2 years I’ve taken a $35K annual salary.
We’ve recently come to the difficult decision to wind things down and have officially announced it to our network & stakeholders recently. Aside from running out of cash, we’re mentally and financially drained from the entire endeavor and are looking to move on. I’m having immense difficulties moving forward though.
Don’t get me wrong, running a startup has been incredible. We’ve seen and done things many don’t have the opportunity to do. But I can’t shake the feeling of deep regret and sadness that’s consumed me. I’ve become an intolerable and bitter person to everyone around me, limping around like a wounded animal.
The most saddening part has been my personal financials. In 2021 at age 22, I graduated college into an IT job that had me at $70K with incredible benefits and a great w/l balance. I got restless and suffered from “the grass is greener” with everyone telling me to quit my job after we received the accelerator offer to take things full-time. I wish I could go back and tell myself the grass truly isn’t greener. Since then, I’ve withdrawn the $5K in my 401K, liquidated $10K I had in market investments, and racked up $30K+ in CC debt so far in addition to $40K student loans and $20K car loan.
I have enough cash to take me until April of 2024, but after that I have no idea what I’ll do. I unfortunately don’t have a familial home to fallback on, so I’ll either have to continue going into debt to pay rent, couch surf, or rough it out in my car until I land a new job.
I can’t seem to get myself out of an emotional slump. All I can bring myself to do daily is play video games and eat junk food to try to suppress the pain. I’m struggling creating a resume as well since I haven’t gained any on-paper skills like certifications. I used to be technical (front-end & python) but since I haven’t programmed since 2021 I’ve lost all of my dev knowledge and replaced it with an assortment of other knowledge & skills. I guess my best shot is finding an entry project management role, but lacking proper Certs/accolades has made this difficult.
I’m sorry if this is just a long venting post, but I could really use some words of advice, kindness, and just a “you’ll be alright.” I know I’m young, and one day I’ll look back on this and say “I’m glad I tried.” But right now I’m struggling seeing the bigger picture. If you’ve gone through a similar experience, I’ve be grateful to hear your journey too.
Thanks everyone.
Edit: Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who commented or DM'd. I can't express how much I appreciate the kind words, tips, advice, and resources. It's going to take some time for me to grieve and process this whole thing, and all the support and thoughts are helping me tremendously. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, truly.