Cofounder quit - a quick story and lesson learned

evaline

New member
Lesson learned: evaluate fit over the course of a month - if you don’t click then just move on. Don’t try to “make it work”, it won’t.

I’m writing this to share my experience as well as to reflect.

About 6-8 months ago Cofounder and I met on YC Cofounder Matching. The first convo was great - he had a lot of energy and optimism - but we were working on different ideas and didn’t have alignment.

Fast forward 4 months, we started doing weekly catch ups and we continued getting along. We both applied to YC and both got rejected so we decided we were going to work on a project together full-time and see how it went.

As founders, we both saw the problem of getting early customers and understood few (technical) founders understood how to do sales or had the bandwidth and we believed that sales should be done in parallel to product development. I always struggled to sell myself and after months of building would always fall flat.

The first week or two of the project started pretty well, we spent a lot of time brainstorming and researching. I could definitely feel his energy and enthusiasm.

We finally settled on an idea and began cranking away. It was at this point that I noticed a couple of things that really bothered me: his work quality was subpar (there were a lot of random typos and grammar mistakes) and I was working MUCH harder than he was. He even told me he was still “exploring his idea but for only 1 hour per day”. In the back of my mind this was absurd given that we had committed to working on a project full-time but I wanted to keep the project going so I ignored it.

The first mistake I made was I thought I could change him. I thought if I spent enough time leading by example and if we saw some traction he would be motivated to pick it up. Nope. As a matter of fact I had created a new problem, “our working styles were different” and “his voice wasn’t being heard”.

I explained to him that yes, I was driving this project and setting the direction, but that was only because I was working a lot more work and figuring stuff out faster. For example, I went through 10’s of hours of educational content; him - none. Yet he wanted to do it his way and it went against everything that the top experts were saying.

To keep the project going, I relented and let him have his way as long as he agreed to commit 8 hours a day, weekends off (if you ask me this is a joke for early stage startups).

We finally got our first 3 customers @ $200/m and this was a big break for me! At this point, he again brought up that our “working styles were different” and I could tell he wasn’t working the minimum 8 hours / day we agreed to. He sent me a cryptic text that I thought meant he was quitting so I said “Ok cool, it was fun working with you” to which he replied that his text actually didn’t mean he was quitting. Weird.

The same pattern kept happening for the next few weeks and just a couple of days ago we talked and he told me he was quitting (even though we agreed to work until the end of Jan). To be honest, I felt a sense of relief but also betrayed and disappointed that we had made a lot of progress and he was just quitting. I’m still figuring out how I’m feeling.

Lastly I’ll say this - my cofounder is a good person and I am by no means without flaws.

Lesson learned again: if you aren’t operating smoothly after the first month you probably will end up falling out.
 
@evaline Lol @ my cofounder is a good person. That’s not your business to be honest. You should only care about two things, actions and results, none of which he brought to the table. Also, you have not done business long enough with him to know his true character.

I would say you have a lot of growth to do as an entrepreneur because you may not have had the audacity to call it quits if he did not. This will affect a lot of things, including how you hire in future.

Can I ask a question, what results did you evaluate the founder on before working with him? All I see from your post is “ideas and energy”
 
@hirono
Also, you have not done business long enough with him to know his true character.

This hits home. Had a co-founder I knew for 10+ years previously and even helped me get back on my feet when I was in a rough spot financially. "Good guy" all around. I even shared an office with him, so got to see a glimpse of his work ethic firsthand, which I admired, and seen him pull off some impressive stuff first-hand.

Turns out all that "work ethic" was smoke and mirrors. That kid couldn't execute on a damn thing. Spent more time wanting to be a "founder" than actually work on a business. Saw him put off work to go to conferences to "network", sometimes as a speaker (don't ask me how or why), and even got a decent amount of press from it.

From the outside looking in you'd think he was on his way to being a success, and in the end I wasted 4 months with nothing to show for it. As a bonus he even tried to screw me on percentages on my way out.

Crazy to think after 10 years, it took only 4 months of business to see his true character.
 
@wisprof I have someone like this at my work. Externally she is a guest at several podcasts and conferences, but internally, I cannot get her to reliably produce results. She talks big but nothing gets done.
 
@katiemygirl She can talk about them really well, but her execution is mediocre. She’s good at selling her self. And when you are at a Podcast to talk vs actually producing work that you are talking about, no one knows.
 
@hirono cofounder being a good person is really not something to laugh at. Prospectively sharing a cap table makes it quite literally his business
 
@katiemygirl I saw a glimpse of it. Or whatever he wanted me to see. I wish I could share more, but it's hard to explain without getting into specific details.

One vague example I can share is him talking a large corporation into shooting a commercial about him and the company. Not a low budget shoot either, I'm talking a full production team coming out to film and show how "X software" helps businesses like his succeed.

He never used that software in his life. He didn't share his financials with me until years later, but that company never saw one penny in revenue either. How he got funding for it is one of the more wilder stories though.

These things were pretty frequent for a good 2 years so from the outside looking in it just looked like he knew what he was doing.
 
They may share the same goal, but their values and skill sets may not be that complimentary.
trying to change someone requires a brain transplant.
This is a lesson that all entrepreneurs, parent, investors need to learn at some points.
OP learned this within 6 months investment. I’d say it’s pretty good.
It costed me 1 year of part-time.
The lesson derived is also pretty aggressively optimal. 1 month for trial will give pretty good sense.

Even when you’re a great match, it takes discipline to bring the best out of each others.

So you really can’t start from an inferior position.

You don’t have a choice but to start from a superior position and get disciplined in fighting entropy.

That’s how you win long term
 
@evaline Adjacent PSA : don’t work with anyone who has a full-time job and has had one consistently at big companies for 5+ years. They’ll likely not wanna quit till you reach PMF.

How I learnt this the hard way!
 
@evaline Had very similar experience before, my conclusion was : you and your cofounder have to fight for the same game, otherwise it’s just gonna be a ticking boom and its just gonna be matter of time u 2 breakup. Some ppl might be excited to start new ideas (like u mentioned energy is high in the beginning) but if ask them if they want to work on this for the next 5-10years the answer is probably no
 
@mousearts It's not the amount of time, but the quality of the time.

It is not outside the realm of possibilities that someone is so burnt out/depressed that even 1-2 hrs can feel like agony.

Motivation (and personal relationships to keep people motivated) is underrated imho. This is why the big firms spend so much money on it.
 
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